Too Lazy To Work: The True Diaries of A Kept Man in NYC.

THE COUGARS  

                                                               Deidra.                                                                

   

 Barbie.

NOTE:  THESE ARE NOT THE REAL COUGARS.  THESE ARE JUST CLOSE PHOTOGRAPHIC REPRESENTATIONS.  I CANNOT POST PICTURES OF THE REAL COUGARS BECAUSE THE REAL COUGARS WILL CATCH ON.

No girl looks like the one on the left unless she's had major work done.  Girls who look like this are not interested in your strongly held beliefs about J.R.R. Tolkien.  This photo is to illustrate the body type and hair Deidra has.   She is curvy and has high cheekbones.  She has good "breast awareness," unlike the girl in this photo.

The Barbie photo is a much better representation of what the real Barbie looks like.  Pouty lips, tiny body.  Have I mentioned how small Barbie is?  So itty bitty.

WHO IS KEPTMAN?

Keptman is your average, poor twenty-something New Yorker who is spending the bulk of his twenties exchanging sex for shelter.  He is unapologetic about his philandering, and he's sort of a son of a bitch.

Some people think that you have to be some sort of studly ladies man to be a kept man.  This is untrue.  Keptman is not all that attractive.  In fact, he is sort of a loser.  But a "loveable" loser, and that's all these girls are going for!  They don't need some high falutin' playboy.  They want someone relatable, who they can talk to.  That's all.  Women are easy.  You just need to treat them right.   

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE KEPT?

A Kept Man is a man whose life - and sometimes glitzy lifestyle - is subsidized by older, richer women.

Being kept is a unique way of exercising your libertarianism - it's not prostitution, as no money is exchanged, and it's not dating, as there's no exclusivity involved.  It's the perfect compromise -  bacchanally delightful.  Or rather, bachvaginally delightful.

HISTORY.

Sex for shelter has been occurring since Ancient Mesopotamian times, where cave etchings suggest that despite it's highly patriarchal society, cradle-of-civilization robbers had been housing young apprentices in their Ziggurats (pyramidal temples), as evidenced by the following:

 

See the studly young men?  And the floosies?  This is hard evidence.

Such activity ceased a bit during the Third Dynasty of Ur, then picked up again afterwards.  Occasionally the older female/younger male symbiosis was brought into public, particularly during the annual Feast of the Waxing Moon, which was held somewhere in the region pictured below.

 

 Can you find Ur on this map? (Hint: It's just Southeast of Uruk).

TRUE?

Yes, everything on this site is completely true, except for the identity of Keptman (age, height, education level have been changed).  Identities of all cougars, sugar mamas, vamps, vixens and love tubs have been changed for their protection.